Shattered Souls
by dobrevsdream
Summary: 3 years post 7x01 story whereby Damon finds himself falling in love with Bonnie and reacts in a typical Damon fashion. Will they overcome all? A tale about love and fate.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note** : Haven't wrote in a very long time, but felt super, super inspired by that breathtaking Bamon scene in the premiere. Super excited for this season! This story is basically 3 years after 7x01 whereby I will explore what would happen if Damon discovered that he had feelings for Bonnie.

* * *

 _Amber Run - I Found_

 _I'll use you as a focal point_  
 _So I don't lose sight of what I want_  
 _I've moved further than I thought I could_  
 _But I miss you more than I thought I would_  
 _I'll use you as a warning sign_  
 _That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind_

 _I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_  
 _Right in front of me_  
 _Talk some sense to me_

"Why – why can't I move?!"

Damon's eyes glinted with excitement as he watched the tall red head whom he had compelled to stand, paralyzed in a deserted alleyway. He stalked towards her with a feral look in his striking blue eyes as the sound of her heart pounding the blood through her body drummed in his ears. He could smell the waves of terror radiating from her which merely served to excite him further.

"Damon! Stop!" Bonnie's voice broke him out of his trance and he turned to see her approaching him. To his dismay, his heart clenched at the sight of her; although her hair had been absently pulled into a top knot and her face was free of any make up, she looked stunning.

How on earth had she found him? It must have been Donnovan whom he had bumped into at the bar. Damn him. He rolled his eyes and took a swig out of the bottle of Bourbon he was carrying before compelling the red head to disappear. He hadn't intended to kill the girl, he merely wanted to have a little fun – he wanted to shut everything off and have let loose like he once used to.

"You can't keep on doing this to yourself," she said softly with those large, tender eyes of hers fixated on him.

The irony was that Bonnie was under the illusion that he had gone on a bender because of Elena, when as a matter of fact, it had been because of her. A week ago, he had learned of the kind of feelings he has been harbouring for her and the guilt had nearly destroyed him. He had instantly, without explanation moved out of her dorm and moved in with Alaric. He had also done his upmost to avoid her and push her away which proved to be impossible since she was relentless in her efforts to keep him from turning dark.

It had only been three years ago that Elena had been taken away from him, and although at the time he thought he would never recover, nor find happiness – he had found himself falling for Bonnie. Oh how foolish he had been to allow himself to get this close to her. To allow her to become his anchor. The constant guilt he felt after a momentary lapse of happiness was engulfing him and he felt as if he was drowning. The constant anguishing reminder that he was betraying Elena with every single thought of Bonnie.

"Why not," he laughed humourlessly lifting the bottle up to take another swig when she flew it out of his hands using her magic. It landed on the floor, a few feet away from him and he found rage bubbling up inside of him. That had been one of his finest bottles.

"Damon, you're better than this. Stop it," she repeated her voice strong and firm.

She would never give up on him, he released. Despite his best efforts to keep her at an arm's length, here she was. Bold and beautiful as ever. At that thought, he felt the self-destructive aspect of himself step in to take control. Anger, pain and devastation rushed through him like wildfire and although it wasn't her fault – he wanted more than anything to blame her for all of it.

"No, you stop!" he snapped stalking towards her dangerously. "Stop trying to _save_ me, stop following me around, just stop!"

She backed away slightly but kept her chin raised, her face expressionless. She wasn't affected in the slightest, and this merely served to fuel his anger further. Why wouldn't she just give up on him?

"You are the reason she's gone. Do you hear me? It shouldn't be Elena who's in that casket, it should have been _you!_ " he said, but the moment the words escaped his lips – he regretted it and wished that he could retract them.

He watched her eyes go wide with surprise, her brows raising as she took in a sharp intake of a breath. Her previous unreadable expression had vanished, and instead – she looked as if he had punched her in the gut, and perhaps he had. Her small chest heaved visibly with distress and he saw her hands curl up into fists. Damon was suddenly overcome with an overpowering urge to draw her petite frame to his chest and hold her against him. He wanted more than anything in the world to wipe away that look from her eyes and in that moment, he would have done absolutely anything to achieve that. Watching her expression, he learned that he would have easily ripped out the heart of anyone who made her feel like this– thus how ironic that it was his words which had caused this. For the first time in a long time, he felt like a monster.

She stood a foot away from him and blinked furiously as if she was fighting desperately to remain in control.

"Bon–" he took a hesitant step towards her.

"Don't you dare," she said, her voice calm and collected – yet emotionless. He stopped in his tracks as she backed away from him and watched helplessly as a mixture of emotions ranging from; rage to anguish rushed through her features.

"You think you're the only person who misses her? You think you're the only person who's hurting? The only person who's ever lost anyone?" she continued her knuckles turning white. "At least you will see her again – I won't!"

He flinched at the way her voice broke. She was tethering on the edge of tears and he was at a loss. He didn't know how to fix this.

"What happened to Elena wasn't my fault and you know that. She was my best friend and I lost her too, so I'll be damned if I ever let you make me feel like this again!" she finished, her eyes wild with rage. Bonnie, who he found to be an open book, became unreachable in the space of three seconds. He could feel her walls building up around her.

He furiously searched for the right words to say but came away with nothing. He had royally screwed up.

"You want to destroy everything you've built here? Go ahead, I'm not going to stop you. I'm done trying to save you," casting him one final look, she whirled around and stormed away from him.

Every fibre in his body screamed at him to go after her and stop her but he could no longer trust himself around her. Thus instead, he watched her disappear down the street with a vacant stare in his eyes. Although pushing her away had been a tactical move on his part, he had never intended to hurt her. Regret gnawed at him and he found himself closing his eyes. He didn't deserve her help. He didn't deserve Bonnie Bennett, period.

* * *

Arrogant, selfish, self-serving asshole!

Bonnie held herself together until she slammed the door to her dorm. The moment the door snapped shut, she became undone. Overwhelmed by the turmoil of emotions coursing through her, she threw her bag on the floor and collapsed against the door as a strangled sob escaped her lips. Using her hand to stifle the sound of her cries, she slid down the length of the door until her bottom settled on the cold, hard floor and her back rested against the door frame.

It had been precisely three years since she had last shed a single tear, therefore she found herself crying for everything she had previously subdued. She had lost a countless number of people in her life and she was exhausted. She was tired of the pain, the loneliness and the guilt. She was tired of feeling guilty for things she had no control over. The death of her Grams although not entirely her fault, weighed down on her every day. Her mother, her father and now Elena. She felt as if she was surrounded by death. It was like she was drowning and there was nothing she could do about it.

How dare Damon treat her as if she was at fault for what happened to Elena? As if she didn't miss her best friend whom she would never see again as much as he did? As if she hadn't continuously sacrificed absolutely everything, including herself for her friends. Bonnie's hands clenched as the feeling of anger dominated her emotions. Damn him, and damn anyone else who ever dared to blame her for Elena's death.

After what seemed like hours, Bonnie curled up on the floor, all cried out and the feeling of exhaustion consuming her. She prayed for sleep which had become her escape from this life and all the pain that came with it. This life, which had turned into something she never would have expected in a million years. Oh how she prayed that things could be different. That she could bring back everyone they'd ever lost. Damon's words tonight had cut her like a knife tonight, and partially it bothered her that she allowed him to get under her skin in such a way. He had become very important to her over the years, she'd be a fool to try and deny that – ergo the wall between them which seemed higher than it had ever been before tonight broke her heart.

As her mind wandered relentlessly, her eyelids grew heavy and she welcomed the darkness and sleep with wide arms. Sleep would do her some good. Feeling too tired to crawl into her own bed, she curled up on the floor which would have to do for tonight.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard the door creak open. The first thing she smelled was his cologne. What on earth did he want? Perhaps he had come over to pick up one of his many items which he had left in her room. Determined to avoid him, she settled for pretending to be asleep – perhaps then he would leave her alone. Footsteps approached her, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. She felt strong arms move underneath her and lift her up which was when she lost her breath completely. As he drew her in close and held her to his chest, she concentrated on keeping her breathing steady. She couldn't imagine anything worse than allowing her heartbeat to grow erratic and him learning that she was awake. Bonnie remained limp and allowed him to carry her over to where her bed was. He placed her down gently and then proceeded to remove her boots. For several seconds, she debated what her next move should be. She felt the covers move over her, and when his lips gently brushed across her forehead in a chaste kiss, she froze, paralyzed. Unable to control herself, she felt her heartbeat pick up its pace and prayed that he didn't notice. After a beat, his footsteps grew distant and before she could react, he had disappeared out of her room.

Confusion washed over her. What on earth had that been? Only a moment ago, she had been convinced that he resented her, yet here he was, behaving as if he cared about her. He was infuriatingly frustrating! In that very moment, Bonnie learned that she had developed highly complicated feelings for her best friend's boyfriend. A feeling of dread settled at the pit of her stomach with that realisation but instead of allowing the sense of panic to overtake her, she forced her eyes shut and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **Author's note** : I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter/are interested enough for me to actually explore it as a full story though it could work as a drabble. Please leave me a **review** and let me know what you think and if you want it to be a fully fledged story - I cannot explain how grateful I will be! Thank you for reading and I will await your feedback!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note** : I would first and foremost like to thank everyone who has read this story and particularly those of you who have sent me a review. It means a lot and I am absolutely thrilled that you guys liked the first chapter. Thank you for being awesome and here is the second installment.

 **Sidenote:** In this story, Bonnie's college is in Mystic Falls - just for logistic reasons.

* * *

Chapter Two

Hawk Nelson - Drops in the Ocean

 _Cause I am for you_  
 _I'm not against you_

 _If you wanna know_  
 _How far my love can go_  
 _Just how deep, just how wide_  
 _If you wanna see_  
 _How much you mean to me_  
 _Look at my hands, look at my side_  
 _If you could count the times I'd say you are forgiven_  
 _It's more than the drops in the ocean_

 _Don't think you need to settle for a substitute_  
 _When I'm the only love that changes you_

Flashback –

Bonnie groaned, feeling marginally nauseous as the consequences of all the alcohol she'd consumed hit her. She adjusted the black, halter neck crop top she was wearing and her white skater skirt before slipping out of the bathroom and slipping back out into the club. Noise and chaos filled the room, the music a little too loud for her newly sensitive ears as she walked briskly towards the bar where her friends awaited her return. She paid close attention to her footing as it took a little more effort than usual to keep herself from stumbling, confirming to her that she was a little past tipsy. Sliding back into her bar stool, she placed her elbows on the bar and rested her face on her arms.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she retorted turning to find him watching her intently. "I just can't believe I let you talk me into this," she scolded, her words slightly unintelligible.

Damon flashed her a knowing smile then, his eyes shining with amusement before tipping his glass up and drinking what must have been his millionth shot. It was a good job he was already dead, otherwise he would most certainly be on a steady road to liver poisoning.

"Show off," she complained rolling her eyes.

"Light weight," he shot back with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Hey!"

Damon gave her what appeared to be an affectionate smile, at least for him, before sighing, closing his eyes and saying. " _Fine_ , I must admit that I'm perhaps _slightly_ impressed by your tolerance. For such a short-ass you sure did hold your liqueur…"

She beamed proudly.

"At least for a while, anyway," he finished his sentence, earning a very meek, pathetic, slap to his shoulder – but it was all she could manage.

"Well, since we are trading compliments, I will say that I'm also impressed that a) you've managed to remain fully dressed even with a few drinks in you and b) you're not off dancing with some, or several should I say, random women," she managed to get out.

"Bonnie Bennett! Are you saying that you were looking forward to seeing me _naked_?!" he exclaimed loudly his eyes flashing roguishly. The effect of those words were immediate and she instantly felt a surge of blood rush to her face. This merely served to widen his grin as he signaled the bartender for another round.

"You're a dick"

"What? You want my dick?!" he shouted even louder, pretending to mishear her due to the loud music. "Sorry Bon, I'm not that kinda guy."

Several heads turned to look at them quizzically and in that moment, Bonnie could have killed him. Instead, she settled for giving him a very mild, migraine.

"Agh! Bonnie! You're not supposed to witchy migraine me!" he cried out the previous smug smile disappearing out his face.

"And you're not supposed to make me sound like one of your groupies," she retorted a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "So I guess we're even."

"Do you two ever stop bickering?" Caroline asked from Bonnie's left side as she took one of the shot glasses the bartender had just placed in front of them.

"Bottoms up, Bon," Damon said placing a glass of liquid in front of her.

"Nu-uh!" Bonnie protested pushing the glass away.

"Yeees," Caroline laughed pushing the glass back and giving Bonnie a side-eye.

"I'm protecting myself from liver failure."

"Oh please, you barely drink, so I think you'll be fine for the night," she retorted. "Right, Stefan?"

Stefan leaned forward to give Bonnie an apologetic look before picking up his own glass and downing it. Coward. Bonnie scowled at him, making a feeble attempt to make the sound of a whip cracking to tell Stefan just how whipped he was but instead, she merely sounded like a drunken fool. Beside her, she heard Damon's deep grumble laugh and knew he was enjoying every second of this. It was evident that he was excited to see her drunk if not only to watch her embarrass herself which was partially the reason she was resisting. Once drunk, she had no control over what she did and what she said, and boy could she be a wild drunk. It had been a very long time since Bonnie had gone out and had fun like this she realized, _fun –_ she had been beginning to forget what that felt like.

 _Oh what the hell_ , she thought snatching up the glass placed before her and downing it in one swift movement before dropping the glass back down with a loud clunk. Caroline raised her hands in the air and cheered whilst Stefan chuckled.

She wiped her mouth, closing her eyes against the bitter, strong taste of tequila.

"Atta girl!" Damon smiled handing her a lime to suck on.

The rest of the night became a sequence of blurred events that she couldn't quite recollect. After another set of rounds, Caroline grabbed Bonnie's hands and dragged her to the dance floor as the DJ played one of their favorite songs. They danced for several songs, leaving both of the brothers at the bar, watching them with a drink in their hand. After the third song, Caroline slipped off to use the bathroom which was when she was approached by a handsome dark haired guy named Tony, or perhaps it was Timothy. They danced together for the duration of one song, and afterwards, he brought her a drink which was when Damon appeared with a stern expression and instructed him to disappear. She remembered giggling hysterically as he lectured her on the danger of taking a drink from a stranger as if this was the first time she had hit the club. Alas, for the rest of the night, he stayed rooted beside her and instructed the bartender to only serve her water.

"Buzzkill," she slurred, laughing at how ridiculous she sounded.

"You'll thank me tomorrow," he replied taking a sip of Bourbon.

He was absolutely right, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she would positively regret this tomorrow. However, in this moment, she simply did not care. Bonnie snatched the glass from his hands, and he watched, amused as she took a long sip before handing it back to him. The rest of the night she spent dancing, and for the first time in a very long time, the feeling of grief, pain and guilt didn't cloud over her. She felt _free_ and it was the most exhilarating feeling she'd ever felt.

* * *

Present day

Bonnie watched the clock on her desktop anxiously and released a short, shaky breath. Tonight was the night, and instead of feeling excited, she was unable to shake that gnarly feeling at the pit of her stomach which warned her that something was amiss. Three and a half days had passed since she had last spoken to Damon, and though she busied herself with assignments – her mind continued to wander and return to him. Despite everything, she prayed that he was okay – she cared about him, no matter how much of an asshole he could be.

Shaking her head to dismiss all thoughts of him, she picked up her pen and poised it before the diary she'd dug out earlier. She desperately wanted to write to Elena to tell her about her life, to inform her what an unbearable jackass her boyfriend was. However, she was reminded of the way his arms had felt under her a few days ago as he had held her close to him and the way her stomach had fluttered in response causing her to drop her pen as if it had scalded her. Dropping back into the chair, she covered her face with her hands – emotion overwhelming her. What on earth was wrong with her? How could she possibly feel anything akin to butterflies when it came to _Damon_ , the _one_ man who was one hundred and ten percent off limits to her?

Tonight would be different, she thought to herself decisively. After several weeks, she had finally agreed to go out on a date with Jamie, a blonde haired, blue eyed guy from her Bio class and the excitement was gradually but finally beginning to seep in. It had been a while since she had dated, years as a matter of fact which possibly explained her confusing reaction to Damon. It was due to the fact that she craved intimate human contact, she told herself firmly getting up from her desk and stalking across the room to get her clothes ready for tonight. Jamie was handsome and funny, thus even if the date never turned into anything romantic – she was sure she'd enjoy the night.

After a lot of thought, she settled on a white, sheer lace body con dress she had bought a year ago with Caroline yet had never got an opportunity to wear. It was the perfect balance of classy and elegance without being too much. Feeling content, she danced to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

Damon padded downstairs with his towel riding dangerously low on his hips. He hummed to himself absently as he walked into the kitchen where he found Stefan sitting at the dining room table doing a cross word puzzle. He loathed the way his mind immediately flew to Bonnie who had stayed surprisingly quiet for the past few days. He'd be a fool to pretend that her silence wasn't warranted, and even a greater fool to admit that he missed her terribly, which he did. Nevertheless, he could never allow himself to grow too close to her. He wasn't entirely sure when it happened, but at some point, she had become an important part of his life.

"Would it kill you to get dressed instead of wandering around the house half naked?" Stefan asked from the table without looking up from the paper in front of him.

"Possibly," Damon retorted popping a raisin into his mouth. "Scared that yet another one of your girlfriends will take one look at this body and want to trade Salvatore's?" he added, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

"Funny," he said dryly. "Couldn't you just shower at Alaric's?"

"The shower is bust, besides, I missed you, brother."

"I'm sure…"

"Speaking of Blondie, where is she?" Damon asked stalking over to the fridge and pulling it open. He was famished.

"Bonnie called, she has a date tonight and had some sort of an emergency," Stefan replied, his voice neutral nevertheless, Damon could tell from the way his eyes assessed him that he was waiting for a reaction.

"Huh," was all he said, closing the fridge, his appetite suddenly vanishing.

Bonnie had a date? This was the first time he was hearing about it. He wondered why she hadn't told him and who it could possibly be with. A million different questions shot through his head whilst he concentrated on externally appearing unaffected. This was insanity. Why should he care who she was dating? Sure, she was important to him but not in a manner which should spark a feeling of jealousy at the thought of her with another man.

"It's obvious you know," Stefan said, stopping him dead in his tracks.

He turned to look at his brother with what he hoped to be a quizzical look instead of a guilty one.

"You miss her, and instead of apologizing, you're deflecting and pretending not to care."

"You mean I _don't_ care," he said scowling and leaving the room, irritated that he could be so openly read.

Going upstairs to get dressed, he knew exactly where he was headed to quench his curiosity despite knowing it was the worst decision he could make.

Damon had been sitting at the bar for half an hour when the door to the Mystic Grill opened and Bonnie strolled in. He found that he was unable to stop himself from scanning her appreciatively – but anyone half-awake could see how gorgeous she looked. The dress she wore hugged her tight little body in all the right places and she had worn her hair down for once. It was then that he noticed the guy who walked in right behind her and placed a possessive hand on her waist before guiding her towards the waiter who had greeted them. His good mood, which had previously been light, dissipated and he felt a snarl tugging at his lips. When the guy smiled at her in a manner that made him nauseous, he stopped himself from walking over and punching him in the gut. He was sure he had already done enough to make her hate him. Besides, he had no reason to react in this manner, and yet he couldn't shake the jealousy that consumed him.

He watched them unnoticed for a while, sipping his Bourbon when a voice distracted him from his own thoughts.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

He turned to find a middle aged woman with short curly hair sliding into the seat beside his. He immediately sensed that she was different, and noticed the ancient feeling which engulfed her. It was a feeling he'd encountered when in the presence of witches, particularly the elders who were powerful thus unsettling him further that he had been too pre-occupied to notice her approach him. It wasn't in his nature to be sloppy.

"And you are?" he asked, placing his drink back onto the bar and narrowing his eyes as he assessed her.

"A friend of a friend," she smiled coolly, signalling the bartender, unaffected by his threatening demeanor. "A vodka tonic please," she said before turning back to him. For a brief second, he was overcome with a powerful impulse to rip out her heart, if not only to subdue his annoyance.

"Settle down, I'm here with good intentions – I promise."

"Well, you have two minutes to convince me why I should let you live," he smiled dangerously. He was extremely bored, and it had been a long time since he had last tasted fresh blood, or killed anyone as a matter of fact. Walking the straight path was beginning to get exhausting, and there certainly wasn't a reason for why he shouldn't kill an intruding witch.

"Very well. You could kill me, but you will also be signing _her_ death sentence and I get the distinct feeling that you wouldn't want that," she said nodding her head towards Bonnie before picking up her glass and taking a long sip.

Damon stilled, his body rigidifying, all traces of humor leaving him. Was she so dumb as to threaten him?

"For that threat alone, you will be exceedingly sorry, exceedingly soon," he warned, his cold eyes fixated on hers.

"Damon Salvatore, ever the cynic," she spat back, a trace of exasperation evident in her voice. It did not escape him that she knew who he was without him introducing himself. "How about you get your head out of your ass for the first time in a century and you _listen_. I am here on goodwill, I am a friend of Sheila's," she continued, successfully peaking his interest further at the mention of Bonnie's grandmother.

"I'm listening…"

"I've heard whispers, that she has absorbed the power of the Phoenix stone and now commands it," she continued lowering her voice and her eyes darting around them nervously, ensuring that she wasn't overheard.

Damon kept his facial expression disinterested, careful to neither confirm nor deny the allegation.

"That stone is a source of great, dark magic – it's not the kind of magic anyone should mess with, let alone a young Bennett witch. If the whispers are true, darkness and pain will consume her until it cripples her. If they are not true, the gossip alone is enough to place a target so large on her back you will find her dead within the week."

Damon froze, doubt and uncertainty seizing him. He wasn't a man of trust, and he certainly didn't trust this old witch. However, whereas the old version of him would have pulled her heart out of her mediastinum without hesitation, he regarded her carefully and considered his options because this was different. The threat was not directed at him, it was against Bonnie and though he couldn't be sure that she was telling the truth, he certainly wasn't prepared to call her bluff. His eyes found Bonnie in the crowded bar again – she was in the middle of a deep conversation with her date and he watched as he said something which made her laugh, her eyes crinkling, and her happiness contagious.

Painfully dragging his gaze from her, his stern blue eyes settled on the witch before him.

"What do you want?"

"Believe it or not, I want to protect her and anyone with common sense can see that you care about her – so I came to you."

Though still skeptical, "So tell me what we need to do," was all he said.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Hi guys, I know it's been a while since my last update but I've been lacking inspiration - but regardless, I've tried to make this update a little longer than usual. I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave me a **review** and let me know what you thought. Take your guesses regarding where you think this is headed.

Disclaimer: I'm from the UK so I spell things the 'English' way e.g. we spell favorite as 'favourite' and realized as 'realised'. I try to correct it to the 'American' spelling as I'm posting, but occasionally, the odd word will slip by. Just so that you guys are aware, haha.

Happy reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:** It's been a while guys and I'd like to apologise! Life has been ridiculously hectic and I've been on a night shift for a while. I would like to thank you all for your response to this story, you've been wonderful. I hope you like this chapter!

Ps. Someone PM'ed me and asked what the songs at the start were about: they usually set the scene for the chapter and is the music I use to write most of the update. Check them out :)

* * *

 _Halsey - Trouble_

 _Would you lie for me?_  
 _Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?_  
 _Would you pin me to a wall?_  
 _Would you beg or would you crawl?_  
 _Stick a needle in your hungry eyes for me?_

 _Let's cause a little trouble._  
 _Oh, you make me feel so weak._  
 _I bet you kiss your knuckles._  
 _Right before they touch my cheek._

Flashback -

The wind furiously propelled Bonnie, who stood on the roof of the Mystic Grill forwards. Her heart slammed against her mediastinum and adrenaline rushed through her veins as the paralyzing feeling of fear gripped her. Bonnie considered herself to be many things; a powerful witch, a great friend, a loyal individual, however, fearless she was not. Heights. _That_ had always been her weakness for as long as she could remember thus standing at the top of one of the tallest buildings in her town was quite possibly the most terrifying thing she had ever done. Yes, she would rather go up against a thousand Klaus Mikaelsons' than stand at the edge of a building. Unfortunately, she had made a great error sharing this fear with Damon whilst stuck in the prison world. Standing here had been a consequence of losing a bet with him several nights ago, and she immensely regretted indulging him in the first place. Turned out he could thwart her in a game of scrabble, monopoly and everything else it seemed – of course a hundred year old vampire would have an advantage over her. It had been foolish of her to allow her darn pride to get in the way, and now here she was paying the price.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," she gasped out, her fingers curling into fists at her sides as she concentrated on breathing steadily. The last thing she needed was to have a full blown panic attack. "Do you know how screwed I will be if I get caught? Let's start with criminal charges for breaking and entering, then there's –"

"C'mon Bennett! You're stalling. Today please!" he called back to her, a lace of humor evident in the tone of his voice which merely served to infuriate her further.

' _You can do this. You just have to stand at the edge and prove him wrong'_ she repeated to herself for the millionth time internally as she clenched her jaw and pushed back her hair the wind had blown into a frantic mess. She gingerly walked towards the small safety railing which surrounded the edge of the roof and focused on steadying her breathing. At last she was close enough to the edge to see down to the street below where her eyes located Damon who was sitting on a bench across from the Grill with his legs outstretched in front of him and a bottle of bourbon in his hand. There wasn't a shred of doubt in her mind about the fact that he was enjoying this way more than he should.

"Satisfied?" she barked, her hands crossed across her chest defiantly.

"Hardly. You're standing three feet from the ledge!"

She opened her mouth to fire back at him when a gush of wind surged her further forward than she had intended to go. Unable to silence herself, a shrill shriek escaped her lips and she scrambled back her heart racing and the palms of her hands sweaty. The deserted street was filled with the sound of Damon's jovial laugh which echoed through the silence and she was overcome with a strong desire to punch him in the gut.

"I'm going to kill you," she said simply, the tone of her voice factual and calm.

"If you delay this any longer, you won't have to. I'll desiccate from boredom."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him and flipped him off which merely earned her another hearty chuckle. Gathering herself together, she stalked a little further forward until the tip of her converse trainers was mere inches from the edge. Unable to bring herself to look down, she released a small shaky breath before backing away.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" he asked taking a swig out of his drink, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"Shut up, Damon."

Feeling a small sense of pride, she turned and headed for the door which would lead her back into the Grill. It wasn't until she grabbed the handle that she noticed that the door was firmly shut. A heavy feeling settled at the pit of her stomach as she felt the raising feeling of panic.

"No, no, no!" she murmured desperately tugging at the door, her heartbeat beginning to pick up its pace. With the realization that she was stranded on the roof, she swore and collapsed against the door, shutting her eyes.

"Bonnie?" he called out, and her eyes didn't need to seek him out in order to detect the anxiety in his voice.

Releasing a breath, she pulled away from the door and trudged back to the railing – feeling a little less intimidated by the height. Cursing for allowing herself to go along with his ridiculous plan when she knew it would end up in a disaster, she crossed her arms across her chest and glowered at him.

"What's wrong pouty?" he asked innocently, a grin on his features and his blue eyes dancing.

"The door is locked."

He threw his head back and chortled and despite everything, she found herself joining him. Later, she would most certainly make him pay – however in this moment, the hilarity of the situation did not escape her.

"Stop laughing and–" she began, but fell silent when she heard the distant sound of the siren.

"Damon!" she gasped her eyes wide, horror and panic setting in. "Someone must have alerted the police!"

To her absolute dismay, he appeared calm and unaffected, if not mildly amused.

"Come and open the damn door!" she screeched, her voice raising as the sound of the siren grew closer with every passing minute.

"Jump down," he suggested.

"Ha ha – you're hilarious!"

"I'm serious. I'll catch you."

With a sinking feeling, she realized he wasn't taunting her.

"In case you haven't noticed – I'm still _human_. I like my life and I don't intend to put it in jeopardy," she hissed, attempting to control her frustration and not alert the neighbors further.

He snorted and pulled himself off the bench before strolling to stand directly underneath the roof where he was in an ideal position to catch her fall.

"Any minute now, they'll be here," he warned his eyes scanning the road ahead.

"No!" she protested stubbornly.

It was then that he rolled his eyes and began making clucking noises.

"Fine. I'm a chicken, but do you know what? At least I'll be alive," she argued back, unable to stop the cold shiver which ran down her spine every time she looked down. "For all I know, this is a sick twisted plot to kill me and get Elena back," she continued.

"Fine. Stay up there all night and explain to the authorities how you got in," he shrugged before turning and starting to walk away, car keys in his hands and whistling to himself pleasantly.

"You leave me up here and I swear to god I'll give you a migraine of a lifetime!" she called after him sternly.

"Bonnie Bennett, you say the sweetest things," he spun around to face her. "Now, are you going to jump or not?"

The sirens now sounded dangerously nearby, and although she knew he'd never truly allow her to get into any serious trouble, she made the decision to take the plunge. Seeing no alternative, she lifted her legs over the railing, refusing to allow the feeling of fear to manifest itself in her as she perched herself on the edge. She felt as if her heart was in her stomach and her breathing was non-existent and yet somehow, it was exhilarating.

"If you don't catch me…so help me god…"

"If I don't catch you, you'll be dead," he chuckled shoving the keys into his pocket. "I won't miss, Bon," he added sincerely, seeing all the blood drain from her features.

 _Oh, what the hell!_ That was her final thought as she closed her eyes tightly and bit down on her tongue in order to prevent herself from screaming. Feeling a sudden surge of recklessness and spontaneity, she pushed herself off the edge and found herself unable to bite back a loud shriek when she felt the rush of air around her as she catapulted towards the ground. Her arms flailed involuntarily and despite the knowledge that Damon was standing below to catch her, a part of her awaited for her body to crash against the concrete with a sickening crunch. Within seconds, her body slammed into a hard, solid wall and she yelped not realizing she was in Damon's arms. The arms which surrounded her made her feel safe and she found herself relax as she remained anchored against him.

"You can open your eyes now," he told her softly, placing her down so that she stood on her shaky legs.

Opening her eyes, her breath hitched as she found his face inches from her own with those piercing blue eyes of his fixated on hers. The expression on his features darkened for a brief second, his gaze flickering to her lips and she held her breath, stepping backwards, desperate to put distance between them. After a beat, the expression passed as quickly as it came, so swiftly that for a brief second, she found herself questioning whether she had imagined it. It wasn't long until the deafening sound of the siren finally reached them and two police cars pulled up to the curb. It was time to bolt.

"Let's go," he said simply, stuffing one hand deep into the pocket of the leather jacket he wore and grabbing her hand with the other before heading towards the direction of her car.

* * *

Present Day

The sound of Bonnie's laughter ricocheted off the walls of the car as she threw her head back and giggled wholeheartedly. It was difficult to remember the last time she had genuinely laughed. Jamie was good for her, he was the perfect gentlemen and she found him funny – most of all, whilst she was with him, she felt like a normal girl.

"Thank you for tonight. I had an amazing time," she said an earnest smile still playing on her lips.

He parked up the car, and turned in his seat to face her – his hazel eyes watching her appreciatively which served to make her blush. This was the part she hated about dating, the awkward goodbye moment where both parties debated whether or not they should go in for the kiss.

"Enough to warrant a second date?" he asked shamelessly. He was flirting with her, that much was obvious.

"Maybe…"

He laughed then, taking her chin into his hand and using his thumb to stroke across her cheeks.

He was most definitely going in for a kiss.

"Well let me convince you," he breathed.

She closed her eyes, concentrating on the steady sound of her heart drumming in her chest. This was good, she told herself. This was _normal_. Fluttering her eyes open, she saw Jamie inches from her when a loud knock sounded, causing them to jolt apart.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed, squinting in the dark as she tried to make out the dark figure outside the car.

One glimpse of the startling blue eyes told her everything she needed to know, and before she could react, he was at the passenger side pulling the door open. The juxtaposing feeling of anger and relief at the knowledge that he wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere coursed through her.

"What the hell?!" Jamie repeated from beside her, a threatening edge entering his voice.

"It's okay. I know him," she explained resting a hand on Jamie's shoulder to still him. The last thing she wanted was for him to get into a fight he could never win.

"Sorry to gate-crash your date, but c'mon! 'Let me convince you?' You've got to do better than that my brother!" Damon said jovially, his eyes alight with mischief, fueling Bonnie's anger further.

"I'll call you tomorrow Jamie," she told him, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. The mood was gone and she was under no desire to be kissing _anyone_.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll be okay. Call you tomorrow," she replied firmly, leaning to place a peck on his cheek before jumping out of the car.

After a little convincing that Damon wasn't a psychopathic stalker, he reluctantly drove off leaving her alone with the person she wanted to see least in the world. A heavy silence settled between them, a thousand unspoken words weighing between them as they stood a shoulder width apart on the sidewalk. It perplexed her how quickly things changed since it was only several weeks ago that she felt closer to him than she had ever been with any other person. Yet now, as the memory of their last conversation played out in her mind for the hundredth time, a feeling of anger and hate consumed her and she struggled to see the people they had once been. The atmosphere in the air had changed and had become charged with so much electricity, it was an effort for her to breathe. If there was one feeling she could use to summarise what it felt to be around Damon this would be it – the intensity.

"It didn't take a lot to scare your new boyfriend away," he commented after a beat, arrogance dripping from the tone of his voice and she certainly didn't need to look at him to know that he was smirking.

Bonnie clenched her jaw with the irritation which pulsated through her, turned and punched him square in the face with all the strength that she could muster. The impact of her hand with his face caused his head to snap to the right, and despite the instantaneous shot of searing pain which shot through her entire arm, she felt satisfied, glorious in fact. Biting back a scream which threatened to escape as a result of the throbbing anguish she felt in her right hand, she found herself panting and releasing small shallow breaths in order to control herself. Damon on the other hand grabbed his own jaw and worked it as his eyes which were wide with surprise found hers. Without giving him a second glance back, she clicked her tongue in disgust, turned her heel and began walking briskly towards her dorm. It took her everything within her to not cradle her fist until she had turned the corner and was no longer in his view. Entering the building, she weaved her way through the crowd of students who lingered in the entry-way of the hall and forced a smile as she greeted familiar faces. Unable to stop the spark of jealousy that she felt whenever she saw the normalcy her peers lived with, she swallowed hard and made her way to the stairway.

Finally making it to the fourth floor, she walked towards her room when Damon appeared. He shot forwards using his supernatural speed in order to place his body in front of her, essentially blocking her from entering her room. Surprised by his swift appearance, her body recoiled slightly, causing him to watch her with an infuriating smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Okay, so you hate me," he regarded her levelly, still working his jaw.

"Get out of my way, Damon."

"No."

She sighed, bemused. If her hand wasn't in agony, she would have considered punching him again. The first thing she noticed was the way his dark hair which could give midnight a run for its money was tousled and out of place. A clear indication that he had been running his hand through it repeatedly – a nervous tick of his. The second, was the smell of bourbon which radiated off his body – he had most certainly been out drinking tonight.

"What do you want?" she asked, her usual fire and feistiness absent, replaced by the exhaustion which was evident in her features.

"Money, power and personal satisfaction. Oh wait, I have all of that."

He was trying to make her laugh, and under other circumstances, perhaps that would have earned him a small smile.

"Is everything a joke to you?" she snapped, her brows furrowed and annoyance clear in her tone.

Noticing her demeanor, Damon shifted his feet and pinned her down with a stare. His expression however was unreadable and she hated the fact that she could rarely see what he was thinking. She was only able to see what he allowed her to see whereas she felt like an open book.

"No. Not _everything_ ," was all he murmured, his eyes softening and the humor leaving his voice.

Another beat of silence. They stood face to face, a turmoil of emotions surging through both of them. Beginning to feel uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze, she broke out of the daze with a roll of her eyes and tried to dodge him, however he moved swiftly with her and blocked her path to the door yet again.

"What do you _want_ Damon?" she repeated her hand falling limply to her side.

"I came to apologize."

She wasn't a fool, she could hear the sincerity in his voice and could see it in his eyes, he was truly sorry. Sure, he probably regretted every word he had said but pride refused to allow her to forgive him that easily.

"Great. Now get out of my way," she replied, ducking and successfully maneuvering around him to make it to her door.

With a shaking, painful hand, she was thankful to find that it didn't take long to fish her keys out of her handbag and unlock her door. However, she was no fool, she knew it would take a whole lot more than words to get rid of Damon Salvatore. Slipping into the room, she tried to close the door and wasn't surprised when he used his boot to block her attempt. Releasing the door with a grunt, she dropped her bag to the ground and turned to face him, her face contorted into an expression of rage.

Unaffected by her anger, he walked in after her and snapped the door shut with the heel of his boot. Whilst she searched for the colorful words she could hurl at him, he strolled past her coolly to the corner of the room where she kept her mini fridge. She watched curiously as he started to shift through all the food she had stashed in there and raised an eyebrow when he pulled out a frozen pack of peas. Straightening up, he took two long strides to close the distance between them and cautiously took her hand into his own, turning it over delicately as he examined it. Hissing, she winced as pain radiated up her arm and despite the small voice which screamed at her to rip her hand out of his grasp, she found herself rooted to the spot, holding her breath. He paralyzed her.

"It's not broken, just badly bruised. Here," he told her finally, after what felt like hours as he placed the bag of peas on her hand, instantly relieving some of her pain. "Not a bad right hook Bon," he added with a small crooked smirk.

Breaking out of the trance he had temporarily placed her in, she grabbed the peas with her own hand and stepped away from him – unable to stop her lips from curling into an expression of distaste.

"You can go now," she instructed, her eyes cold and vacant.

An expression of surprise mixed with hurt flashed through his eyes. She knew that her coldness and distance caught him off guard, and deep down, she knew that she _did_ want to hurt him. She wanted to make him feel the way he had made her feel. Most of all, she was angry at herself for allowing him to get under her skin, she was frustrated that he was capable of hurting her with a few words.

Damon shoved his hand roughly through his hair in exasperation, a conflicted expression on his features whilst his chest rose and fell rapidly. His brows were furrowed; an appearance he wore whenever he was in deep thought. The silence between them stretched out, and Bonnie stood several steps away watching him apprehensively. When his eyes found hers again, the conflicted look had dissipated and was replaced by one of determination – whatever it had been that he was considering, he had made a choice. He made a move towards her and she instantly stepped back.

"Don't," she warned her arm shooting out to stop him – she didn't want his touch. It was the one thing that would send her brain into a frenzy. In order to stay level headed, she had to keep a distance between them.

"I screwed up! I know, allright! Bonnie, _I know_ but in case you haven't noticed, I have a tendency to do that!" he shouted, his entire body language screaming with frustration.

"That makes it okay then," she laughed bitterly. "You ask – heck no, you _scream_ at me to give up on you, _blame_ me for Elena's death and wish that it was _me_ who died and I'm supposed to be okay with that? Screw you!" she shot back, her voice equally raising as her body trembled with rage.

"No, Bon! You're not supposed to be okay with it," he started whilst walking towards her, his hands reaching for her.

"Don't." she repeated quietly using her good hand to grasp at his leather jacket and shove him away as he walked her backwards until she came up against the wall, his black boots against the toe of her heels. Dropping the bag of peas, her arms fell limply to her sides and her breath came in short burst, her chest raising and falling rapidly as she leaned against the wall. Their proximity was dangerous, suffocating and electrifying all at once. Whatever this was, it was unexplainable. There weren't any words to describe the way she felt whenever she was within his vicinity. She felt high, drunk even, and it was addictive. She was _addicted_.

"You're not supposed to be okay with it," he repeated quietly, his eyes fixated on hers. "But you're not supposed to hate me either," and despite the fact that she had averted her gaze so that it was locked on the floor, she could feel his eyes burning into her.

Hearing those words, hearing how deflated and hurt he sounded, she found herself seeking out the eyes she usually avoided. Struggling to breathe, to think, to exist once they had locked eyes, she swallowed hard.

"I don't," she managed to breathe out. "…hate you."

"Good," he murmured. "Because I can't lose you too."

Bonnie's eyes widened with the small realization that Damon felt the same – of _course_ he did. Why else was he here, why else was he watching her with a painful expression of desire which ignited her body and awakened a part of herself she had barricaded away a very long time ago. He swept a piece of stray hair off her face and searched her eyes for what felt like an eternity. The way he looked at her was captivating, and she knew that if one of them didn't break the spell they were under, they would do something they would later regret. In an instant, his hand snagged the small belt around her waist and tugged her towards him so that her chest was against his. _Stop_ the small voice in the back of her head roared and yet, she still found herself standing still, holding her breath as she remained suspended between the wall and his hard chest. Being this close to him, she was aware of every movement, every muscle twitch, aware of the way his arms flexed when his hands rested on the small of her back. His familiar scent which tonight was mixed with a little bourbon became mixed with hers, it was intoxicating.

"Damon." She breathed finally, her stomach alive with what felt like a million butterflies. She had never truly understood what the description of having 'butterflies' meant until this very moment.

Still fixated on her, he pressed against her and she found her hands curling into his shirt as her eyes fell to his lips. He lifted her chin slightly, his head dipping down when her eyes fluttered shut in expectation of the kiss.

At the very last minute, her hand shot forwards and pressed against his chest – stilling him.

"Damon," she repeated her eyes still close. "What are we doing? _Elena._ "

With that very last sentence, that one name – the spell between them broke instantly. He stepped back, blinking as if returning from a daze and the eyes that had been watching her so tenderly turned vacant. Breathing heavily, she could practically see his walls building back up again, she could already feel the guilt and shame that would consume the both of them. They hadn't done anything, but it didn't matter. They may as well have.

"Da–" she began when he disappeared, leaving her standing in the middle of the room alone and breathing frantically.

Placing a hand on her chest, she focused on stilling her beating heart. For the past week, she had convinced herself that she had imagined what she'd felt when Damon had carried her in his arms, she had even settled on the ideology that she had a silly little crush. She had been determined to push it down and pretend that it had never happened, that the feeling didn't exist. However, tonight came the realization that the feelings she was harboring was not one she could quiet, it wasn't a crush – what she felt was _explosive_. It would eat her up, chew her up and spit her back out and it demanded to be heard. The normalcy she had longed for whilst she was with Jamie had been a façade. Deep down, Bonnie Bennett knew that she did not want to settle for 'normal'. She didn't want to be kissed by the man that she loved and for her heart to simply flutter in response. What she wanted was fire, explosive, intensity, complicated. What she wanted was Damon, the one man on the planet who was forbidden. Go figure. Dropping onto the floor of her bedroom, she sat with her back against the wall, closed her eyes and sent a silent apology to her best friend.

* * *

 **Author's note:** A long update and hopefully the next one won't take me so long! Eeep! Please, please, pleeease leave me a review and let me know what you think. Don't you worry, we will explore what the old witch told Damon soon, this was more of an emotive chapter about the head-space these two shattered souls are in (see what I did there) ;)

Anyhow, do let me know what you think. Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note** : I'm baack! This update is a little different is all from Damon's perspective which was definitely challenging. Hopefully you enjoy it! Also, I've left it all with the English spelling since you guys have assured me that you don't mind. Happy reading!

* * *

 **Present Day -**

Damon exited the college building with an explosive slam of the door, his entire body vibrating with a dangerously intoxicating and powerful sense of helplessness. Stepping out into the cold, calm night, he turned his head towards the sky and willed himself to not fall off the deep end. His mind wandered relentlessly, the prevailing thought of his almost-kiss with Bonnie sufficient to fuel his downward spiral. He most certainly would've kissed her if she hadn't halted him. If she hadn't reminded him of _Elena_ – the woman who was supposed to be the love of his _life_. Yet there he'd been, captivated by Bonnie Bennett and the terrifying prospect that he had been successful in his attempt to drive her away. _"I don't…hate you"_ she had whispered with an expression so vulnerable and beautiful, it had made him fall for her harder. He'd intentionally hurt her with his words in a desperate attempt to make her give up on him and yet, any other answer other than the one she gave would've destroyed him. He couldn't stand the thought of her hating him. There was something about her that gripped a part of him and he was unable to let it go irrespective of how hard he endeavoured to turn away from it. At that admittance, he rushed forwards and flipped a bench over in his blind fury, his body exploding with a delirious sense of frustration. More than anything, he yearned for a good bottle of bourbon.

"Hey! Are you okay?" a quiet, apprehensive, female voice sounded from behind him and within a nanosecond, he felt himself turn into the predator he was.

His demeanour changed, his body suddenly on high alert, his eyes narrowing and the veins in his face surfacing as he turned to face what turned out to be a petite college girl. Sane, in-control Damon vanished and became replaced by self-destructive Damon. He had almost forgotten how much he missed the hunt and this version of himself. The feeling of invincibility, the power and the elated high that came with being in control of human life which was fragile and meaningless. How had he ever given it up? Oh, how he had forgotten how _alive_ this made him feel.

"Sir?" she repeated, a hint of fear now entering her voice.

He regarded her coolly, watching whilst she glanced behind her discreetly, checking to see whether they were alone. Unfortunately for her, they were. Her formerly uneasy expression mixed with curiosity was now replaced by one of terror. He felt exhilarated, feeling the fear exude from her body in waves whilst the sound of her heart racing in her fragile little ribcage filled his ears. To his dismay, it instantaneously prompted a brief memory of Bonnie and the way her heart had also sped up the moment he had stepped closer to her. Desperate to shut and barricade away all traces of her, he stepped closer to the stranger, the blood surging to his face and the veins resurfacing. It wasn't until the girl spun into motion by letting out a heart wrenching scream and whirling to bolt that he snarled, shot forwards and compelled her to remain rooted to the spot.

"Please, please, please," she begged her eyes closed firmly whilst her body trembled, a stream of tears flowed freely from her eyes.

This was the part where he usually tore out their heart or throat, he had mercilessly done it countless times before however, he found himself deliberating his next move.

" _There's always a choice. Whenever you make one, someone else suffers."_

This wasn't a random act of violence, it was a calculated, strategic move which would solve his problem. Killing this girl would undoubtedly result in Bonnie's anger and hatred. It would be an act that definitively drew a line in the sand – there wasn't a soul on this earth who loathed reckless Damon more than Bonnie Bennett and the slaughtering of an innocent life was an unforgivable act in her books. There would be no coming back. He willed himself to make the move and end the girl's life with one swift motion, but he was unable to turn off the distinct voice in the back of his mind which screamed at him to stop – to not dive off the deep end.

" _You feel remorse, it's what makes you different from Kai. It means there's hope for you."_

He breathed heavily, once again regretting that he lacked the assistance from a good bottle of bourbon. Being drunk would have made this decision much easier. He had no idea when domesticated Damon had overpowered the previously conquering impulsive Damon. With that thought, he felt a memory surge to the forefront of his mind.

* * *

 **Flashback –**

Damon cursed under his breath and sounded the horn impatiently as he stopped behind yet another queue of cars. It was 5th February, the night of Bonnie's birthday and he was in a rush to get back. He'd spent the day out of town sorting out Alaric, who had been struggling with the loss of Jo and as a result had become a grieving, drunken mess. He had fully intended to make it back in time, however trying to make Ric see sense had proven to be more difficult than he'd initially anticipated.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," he hummed under his breath whilst drumming his hands on the steering wheel.

After twenty minutes of no movement, he glanced at the time and grimaced. If he didn't make a move now, he'd miss it.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured to his Camaro regretfully before flooring the gas and driving manically through the traffic, gesturing rudely at the cars who sounded their horns. Ignoring several red lights, he managed to arrive at the Salvatore boarding house in good time by which the party appeared to be in full swing. Greeted by many unfamiliar faces, he fleetingly regretted agreeing to host what had been pitched to him as a 'small gathering'. Stepping into the foyer, he grabbed a bottle of bourbon he had stored in one of the cabinets and began to weave his way through the crowd towards a blonde head full of curls. Caroline appeared to be in a highly animated conversation with a waitress who looked stricken. Feeling somewhat charitable – he stepped in her line of vision to distract her.

"Where's the birthday girl then?" he asked opening the bottle and taking a long, slow, satisfying swig.

"What?! I was hoping you knew!" she retorted her eyes flying wide with panic.

"You mean she isn't even here yet? It's almost midnight," he murmured almost to himself, his brow furrowing in concern and confusion.

"I know. I texted her to come here, but we haven't heard back. I assumed she'd be with you!" she said pulling out her phone again. From the look of alarm in her face, he could practically see her control-freak wheels turning. "I'll call her again."

"Don't. I'll find her," he promised simply.

Shoving the bourbon into her arms remorsefully, he stalked out of the house and into his Camaro.

 **…**

The abandoned park was several miles past the high school and was surprisingly easy to find. Somehow, he knew that'd be exactly where she was. Stepping out of the car, he spotted her instantly sitting on the swing set with her legs crossed in front of her. The total silence aside from the sound of leaves crunching beneath his boots was eerie – even for him.

"You're missing the surprise party," he called out as he approached her, his voice making her jump.

Bonnie quickly ducked her head and wiped her eyes, an action that did not go unnoticed by him. She had been crying, that much was evident and served to sadden him.

"You just ruined the surprise," she retorted with a small, gentle smile. He had to admit it, she was pretty good – and perhaps if he hadn't grown to read her so well, he would've fallen for the façade. However, he noticed everything. The way her green eyes which were usually bright and full of light appeared sad and broken, a look he didn't appreciate seeing on her features.

"Don't tell Caroline – she'll kill me. She's already freaking out – why else do you think I'm here to hide?" he said, earning a small laugh. He sat on the swing adjacent top hers and turned to trap her gaze in his.

"How did you find me?" she asked hesitantly after a beat.

"Are you kidding me?! You chewed my ear off talking about this place pretty much every chance you got for months," he shot back, desperate to wipe the sombre look from her face and hear her jovial laughter once more.

"So you _were_ listening to me!" she exclaimed with a raised eyebrow, the corners of her lips tugging upwards. "Who knew?"

"You say it like I had a choice in the matter. In case you can't recall correctly, we were _stuck_ in 1994," he countered shoving his swing sideways so that it bumped with hers.

"You're an ass."

"I've got a _great_ ass, I'm sure you've noticed," he winked and waggled his eyebrows ridiculously resulting in her bursting out in laughter.

"Whatever," she said finally with a roll of her eyes.

They sat side by side, allowing another brief silence to stretch out between them. It was evident that something was amiss – however he also knew her well enough to give her space. She would tell him if and when she was ready, thus all he could do for now was ensure she wasn't alone. He wondered how long she'd been here for. Hours? The whole day? He chastised himself internally for leaving her in the first place.

"I'd almost forgotten how much I used to love coming here," she said quietly, her small voice distracting him from his thoughts. "My mom used to bring me here pretty much every day, y'know? I loved it. I loved feeling the wind on my face as she propelling me further and further towards the sky. I felt free, as if I could fly away if I wanted to. Pretty stupid, huh?"

He remained silent, allowing her to vent and get it all out.

"Every _day_ we would come here until one day, she just wasn't around anymore. I mean, I was five at the time so I could barely understand why mom left, but it hurt all the same. So I never came back here…until I saw her again. Since then, I come here whenever I need to think – but I guess you knew that already," she finished, her voice shaking marginally.

He somehow managed to resist the overpowering urge to get out of the goddamned swing and pull her frame into his arms in an attempt to chase away all of her demons. Instead, he settled for listening. He understood the anguish that came with abandonment and the vacant hole it left in your heart – after all, Lily had done the same to him. He and Bonnie were kindred spirits, two shattered souls as a result of things beyond their control.

"I _want_ to hate her. I want to erase her from my mind, I do and yet every birthday I wait to hear something, _anything_ from her and _every_ birthday she lets me down," she admitted with a sharp intake of a breath. "At least she's consistent. But I guess it's high time I accept the fact that I'm an orphan."

"Screw her Bon. You don't need her. I'll only say this once, and if you repeat it to anyone I'll deny it with every bone in my body but you're stronger than this. Your mother left you when you were a baby and look at the way you've turned out! It's her loss. Don't let her ruin a single day of your life because that gives her more credit than she deserves and you not enough. You're pretty incredible, Bonnie Bennett," he said firmly, desperate to make her see herself the way he saw her. "Besides, take it from me, family is overrated."

Inhaling a deep breath, she used the back of her hands to wipe her face once more before turning to look at him with an unreadable expression which unnerved him. She was usually an open book.

"What?" he barked after a while as she continued to watch him carefully.

"Nothing. I just can't believe how wrong I was about you," she smiled, watching him tenderly as if she was finally seeing something she hadn't seen before. "You're not an evil maniacal soul after all, who knew?" she added playfully, leaning against the frame of the swings, her green eyes once again familiarly dancing in the dark night.

"Nobody will know because I will kill you if you ever repeat those words to anyone," he replied standing upright and walking briskly to stand before her.

"Care to join civilisation again and stop giving your mom any more power over you?" he asked offering her his hand.

She regarded his outstretched hand coolly, and turned to catch his eye levelly. He would probably never tell her this, but she was certainly one of the strongest people he'd ever met. It baffled him that he hadn't noticed it the first time they'd met.

Taking his hand decisively, she allowed him to pull her to her feet easily.

"Good choice because if we skip the party, Caroline will ensure we join the dead," he said as they headed towards the car. "And remember to look really surprised," he instructed.

Laughing softly, she fell into step with him and stayed silent until they reached the car.

"Hey Damon…thank you."

"Don't mention it," he said gently. "No really, don't mention it," he joked before slipping into the car and the conversation was never brought up again.

* * *

 **Present Day \- **

As the memory dissipated, the girls hysterical crying brought him back to the present. He blinked, looking as if he had just woken up from a spell and decisively stepped forwards. Ignoring her loud sob, he took her face into his hands and finally settled on his next move. His face became lax and he locked his eyes with hers, compelling her memories away. Releasing her, he stepped back and watched as she blinked in confusion, threw him a perplexed glance before hurrying in the opposite direction.

It wasn't until the girl disappeared around the corner that came the realisation that the moment on the swings had been the first steps which contributed to making him fall for her. It had been the first time he had felt something non-platonic towards her, and he hadn't realised that until tonight. If not for that moment, he more than likely would have killed that girl. However the memory had reminded him of the person he wanted to be – the person she'd seen in him that night and continued to see ever since then. The person over time he'd grown to want for himself – _that_ had been how he'd given it all up.

He could never allow himself to pursue anything with Bonnie as that would be betrayal – but he also wasn't ready to let her go just yet either.

* * *

Damon stormed into his house with a lot of pent up inner turmoil still coursing through him – yes, he'd decided to let the girl run free but nevertheless, the issue that he'd almost kissed Bonnie remained. Distracted by his own demons, it wasn't until he was reaching for a bottle of his finest bourbon when the sudden sensation that he wasn't alone came. Swivelling around, he regarded the young, blonde witch who sat neatly on his leather couch.

Ebony.

"You're getting lazy in your old age, Damon!" she exclaimed taking a sip out of the glass of Whiskey she held in her hand.

"You're drinking my liquor, so now I'm pissed off," he retorted crossing his hands over his chest, a dangerous glint entering his eye. "

"It's a good job I came bearing good news then," she said calmly.

Ebony, was a witch he'd assigned years ago to look into the spell Kai had cast on Elena and Bonnie and he'd never heard back. After a year passed, he had assumed that she'd given up searching and that Kai had been right in declaring the spell to be seamless. But here she was, finally appearing to report back something and despite himself, he felt a feeling of hope rise in his chest. If Ebony was here, it meant that there was a way to bring Elena back.

"Well? Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it from you?" he drawled, hiding the anticipation which was building within him.

"There _is_ a way to bring her back," she started and instantaneously, the rest of the words blurred into nothing. He could see her mouth moving but her words fell on deaf ears.

There is a way to bring her back.

Elena.

He could have her brought back to him. The juxtaposing feeling of elation and unease pummelled him in the chest so furiously he staggered backwards, his eyes wild. Taking a sip out of the glass he was carrying, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

"…the Bennett witch."

Damon snapped out of his daze and focused back into the conversation, his curiosity peaked at Bonnie's involvement.

"What of her?" he asked arranging his features carefully into a neutral expression, careful not to give anything away.

"Have you been listening to anything I've said or did you stop thinking with your head and start thinking with your groin the moment I mentioned your precious Elena Gilbert?" she sighed placing the glass onto the desk with a loud clutter and standing upright. "The witch is the key to the spell. To break a spell that powerful, that calculated – I need ancient _dark_ magic. That's our only shot, and if the rumours are correct, there's a little Bennett witch running around with exactly what we need."

"No."

"You don't understand, she's a lost cause. The power she has will turn her soul dark and drive her insane before it kills her. Her days are marked either way, at least this way – good can come out of it," she persisted.

"No. No. No."

"I know she's important to Elena but this is different, she won't blame you. Either way, Bonnie Bennett is going to die, at least this way we can–"

Surging forwards at his supernatural speed, he grabbed the front of her shirt and pressed her against the wall, his eyes large with fury.

"I said the witch is off-limits. Do you understand?"

Ebony searched his eyes, looking puzzled until an expression of realisation dawned on her. Her eyes widened in surprise and she opened her mouth as if to say something before closing it again.

"I think I do," she finally replied.

He released her and stepped away turning and dragging his hand through his hair in exasperation before throwing the glass into the fireplace. The shards of glass scattered on the wooden floor and the heat of the fire served to warm the cold, numb feeling that had settled over him.

"I should probably inform you that it won't matter what we do. She _is_ going to die. Either by the magic she now wields or by another witch trying to channel that magic. If I heard about her, countless others did. I already know of two witches who are in Mystic Falls for that very purpose."

The sudden fear and panic that settled over him was blinding – without a second thought, he shot out of the door.

* * *

 **Author's note: ** That's all folks! I'd like to thank everyone who has left me a comment and continues to show their enthusiasm for this story - you are quite literally my inspiration. There's nothing that makes me want to write more than the knowledge that people actually enjoy what I'm producing so thank you!

Secondly, I hope the flashback which in this chapter is actually woven into the story in the middle as it's a pivotal moment in Damon's decision wasn't confusing. I usually try to make them separate from the story so that it's easier to follow but it didn't feel right to do it like that in this chapter.

Anyhow, pretty **please leave me a review** and let me know what you think. This was a difficult chapter and I'm dying to know what you thought!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hi everyone, I'm baack! I'm so sorry it's been a long while but life has been really hectic with work and whatnot and I just couldn't quite get this chapter right. This chapter is a little longer than most updates and I promise that the next one won't take so long! One thing I did just want to remind everyone (since it's been forever haha) is that this fic takes in place of the current (season 7) storyline so will involve the consequences of using the Phoenix Stone. If you feel like you need to re-read the last chapter to refresh your memory by all means go ahead. Happy reading!

* * *

 _Ashes Remain - Right Here_

 _I can see every tear you've cried like an ocean in your eyes_

 _All the pain and the scars have left you cold_

 _I can see all the fears you face through a storm that never goes away_

 _Don't believe all the lies that you've been told_

 _I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down_

 _I will always be the one who took your place_

 _When the rain falls_

 _I won't let go_

 _I'll be right here._

Bonnie paced her room anxiously, occasionally swearing under her breath at the throbbing pain in her hand. In what universe had she expected a good outcome to come out punching a _vampire_? She had done a lot of stupid things in the past, however this scored pretty high up on the list. Grumbling, she attempted to organise her scattered thoughts. Tonight had come the heart-breaking and soul shattering realisation that she well and truly had feelings for Damon. _Damon Salvatore_ of all people in the entire world. Why? _Because he looks at you in a way no-one else does. Because he has been there for you in the past few years more than anyone else has. Because he makes you laugh. Because despite all his faults, you know he'd pretty much do anything for you_ a small, annoying voice in her head explained. Uncertain whether she should laugh, cry or do both, she tried to consider all the options available to her in order to erase this entire situation. Perhaps she'd look into a memory spell? Perhaps she'd pack up and move to Antarctica with the penguins. Perhaps she would ask Stefan to compel Damon's entire existence out of her memories…not that the compulsion would work on her she realised bitterly. Screaming out in frustration, she threw the bag of peas Damon had dug out for her hand against the wall and dropped down onto her bed.

Remembering the way Damon had trapped her against the wall and how his rough hands had felt on her waist, she lay down so that she faced the ceiling and closed her eyes guiltily. Despite her anger towards him, she had _wanted_ to kiss him. She felt as if she was trapped in a war between her head and her heart, and for the most part, she was able to reason with her heart and led with her head. Her body however was a separate entity in itself and betrayed her. It was as if every fibre in her body ached for his touch and there was nothing she could do to control it. One second longer tonight and they would have kissed she realised, the hollow pit in her stomach deepening. _But you didn't_ the small voice in her mind reminded her pitifully. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried to summon a memory from a time when everything was simpler. A time when all she was worried about was whether or not Caroline would notice that she hadn't memorised the choreography from last week's cheerleading practice.

Wallowing in self-pity, she failed to hear the door open and didn't notice the fact that she was no longer alone. It wasn't until she heard low voices that her eyes snapped open and she bolted upwards. Her eyes settled on three strangers; two women and a man who stood before her motionless, chanting in another language. A spell. Was that _Sage_ she could smell burning? Privacy spell!

"What the he—" she began when an ear splitting scream filled the room. A scream so loud and filled with such anguish it brought a tear to her eyes. It wasn't until she dropped to her knees that she realised that the scream belonged to her. Withering on the floor she continued to scream, agony pulsating through her as she saw flashes of people being tortured before her eyes. As she saw an image of a woman being stabbed in the chest, she felt the stake pierce her own mediastinum the pain so intense it felt _real_.

"Please! Please make it stop!" she gasped clutching her chest in pure undiluted pain.

It wasn't long until Bonnie found herself wishing for death. Death would be better than this she thought. As her eyes blurred from the tears which burned out of her ducts, she found herself closing her eyes and succumbing to the torture. _After everything you've been through, is this really how you want to go out?_ The voice cried out and it was in that moment that she felt a stir of emotions grumble beneath the surface of her defeat. _Anger_. She felt anger so strong it was almost palpable. Consumed by her blind rage, she felt the pain subside—or perhaps she was too distracted by the anger pulsating through her. Her hands trembled as she felt a new sense of strength and an overwhelming power course through her. Magic. That's what was fuelling her and yet, it was _different_. She felt…different. Gritting her teeth, she opened her eyes and slowly sat up her eyes focused entirely on the witches before her who were exchanging a look of panic. They began to chant louder but it was useless, their magic didn't seem to so much as touch her. All she could feel was anger so intense she could barely focus on anything else and all she wanted was to ensure that she made them feel the way she had just felt. Somewhere the small voice was screaming at her to stop but she barricaded it away as she raised her arms and snapped her fingers, causing all three perpetrators to drop to their knees before her. The overhead lights shattered and a gush of wind surrounded them, causing papers and clothing to be displaced around the room. Watching the three witches scream in agony just as she had done moment before, she grinned wickedly, feeling euphoric.

"What? I'm just getting started," she informed them darkly.

* * *

The journey to Bonnie's room was swift and quite the blur, the prevailing and yet almost paralyzing thought that he'd be too late fuelling him. _Bonnie Bennett will die_ , Ebony had said and considering she was one of the very few witches he truly trusted, he didn't hesitate to act. They'd met back in 1987 after he saved her and her family from a group of rouge vampires; she'd felt indebted to him ever since. Although he didn't consider her to be one of his friends, she was certainly an ally which was why he had trusted her to search for a loophole in the sleeping curse Kai had cast. How ironic that just as he had lost hope and begun to heal from the loss, she'd arrived with the news that Bonnie was the key to undoing the spell. It didn't escape him that somehow all roads always led back to Bonnie Bennett.

He arrived outside the apartment building and immediately shot up the stairs, kicking the door open without hesitation and surging into the room. A rush of adrenaline sparked through him and for the first time in a long time, he found himself truly afraid. _Afraid for her._ A true gift, courtesy of vampirism was that he rarely worried for Stefan or himself; however Bonnie was a whole different ballgame and despite her magic, she was vulnerable to death. Entering the room, he took in the mess before him; his eyes wide and his breath catching as he scanned the room quickly. It looked as if a tornado had blew through the room; books, papers and clothes scattered on the floor and all surfaces. Spotting Bonnie standing in the middle of the room facing away from him, he released the breath he'd been holding until his eyes fell on the three unmoving bodies which lay at her feet. As a feeling of dread shot through his body, he rushed forwards and grabbed her petite frame, swivelling her around to face him.

"Hey! Bon!" he exclaimed taking in the large volume of blood that covered her neck, abdomen and arms. The copper, metallic smell of the blood served to make him nauseous with anxiety despite being ravenous. "Hey," he said, the tone of his voice soft and barely audible.

Bonnie who was so small she reminded him of a Little Bird stood before him; her face mirroring that of a blank canvas. It was almost impossible to believe that it had been merely an hour since she had looked at him with an expression so passionate it had nearly torn him apart not to kiss her. Now, her eyes were blank, unresponsive and vacant causing the feeling of terror to spike.

"Are you hurt?" he asked more firmly whilst simultaneously using his hands to graze at her skin and inspect her head to toe. Realising that the blood did not belong to her and that she'd somehow came away unscathed, he briefly closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, a wave of relief passing through him. Once establishing that she was physically unharmed, he then turned to the three bodies and quickly checked for a pulse; all three were dead. Returning to Bonnie who was uncharacteristically silent, he took her face into his hands and forced her to look up at him. The green eyes which were typically alight with fire and mischief were unfocused and dull serving to unsettle and re-ignite the sense of dread.

"Damnit Bonnie!" he exclaimed shrugging his black leather jacket off and wrapping it around her small shoulders. "Listen, I'm going to get you out of here okay?" he coaxed his voice instructive but yet soft as he slipped an arm around her small frame and liftedher entire body up off the ground. Cradling her in his arms as he had many times before, he carried her out of the room.

* * *

Caroline stormed into the Salvatore house and made a bee-line to Damon who stood with a glass of Bourbon in his hands. _Typical_ , she thought irritated. Anger, confusion and fear morphed together coursed through her all at once and the only thing she needed was to make sure Bonnie was okay.

"Where is she?" she snapped, her arms crossed across her chest defiantly.

It wasn't entirely his fault, she knew that and yet somehow she was unable to push away the powerful urge to rip his eyes out. Upon hearing the news from Stefan, her mind had automatically flown to the fact that it had been Damon who had coaxed her into using that damned stone in the first place. Furthermore, it irritated her that Damon hadn't informed them of the witch who'd approached him about Bonnie. Perhaps if they had known, she wouldn't be in this predicament. Conversely, she knew that Damon had asked Bonnie to use the stone in order to get Elena's coffin back from Lily; thus how could she blame him for protecting her other best friend?

"Upstairs," he retorted taking a long swig out of his glass. "…Sleeping. I wouldn't interrupt her," he called out after her as she began heading for the stairs.

Sighing in frustration she pushed her hair out of her face in exasperation and began to pace the room. All the variety of scenarios which could have taken place swarmed in her mind, driving her insane. _How the hell did our lives get this complicated?_

"Has she said anything?" she asked chewing on her lips, anxious at the thought of Bonnie having to kill not one, but three people in order to defend herself. Experience had taught Caroline that context was of little relevance; taking a life would haunt Bonnie for the rest of her life and that broke her heart.

"Nada," he retorted taking another swig.

Silence stretched out between them as she focused on quietening her rage.

 _Three, two…one._

"How did this happen?!" she finally spat out, unable to contain herself.

He looked at her coolly over the glass, his eyes widening as realisation dawned on him. Setting down the glass, his piercing blue eyes honed in on her daringly.

"Why don't you just say it, Blondie?" he challenged.

"Say what?" she bluffed, feigning innocence.

"The fact that you think this is all my fault," he said, the tone of his voice bitter and cold.

"Well, as long as you know," she smirked.

"You think I wanted this?" he roared, the anger evident in his demeanour and feral eyes.

"I don't know, Damon! All I know is that death and pain follows anyone who gets close to you. Stefan, Elena and now Bonnie!" she screamed back, spitting the words at him.

Damon blinked, surprised and caught off guard by her outburst; for the first time, she saw an expression of hurt flash through his usually arrogant eyes.

"That's enough," Stefan's firm voice came from the front door, breaking the palpable tension between them.

Damon stood rooted to the same spot, speechless. Taking a closer look at him, she knew she'd stabbed him where it hurt. Despite all of his faults, deep down even she knew that he would never intentionally do anything to hurt Bonnie. Surprised by the pang of guilt she felt, she sighed and pressed her face into the palm of her hands.

"I'm going to see Bonnie," she announced after a beat and left the room, leaving the two brothers alone.

Halfway up the stairs, the sound of shattering glass sounded from downstairs, startling her. She didn't need to be in the living room to know Damon had thrown his glass into the fireplace in anger. As a feeling of regret settled in the pit of her stomach, she continued up the stairs.

* * *

Bonnie sat cross legged in the Californian king bed, her back propped up against at least twenty pillows. It had been two hours and thirty minutes since Damon had found her in her dorm room. Which also meant it had been approximately a little over two hours since she had _killed_ three people. Shivering at the thought, she wrapped her arms around herself tighter. It had all happened so quickly she could barely organise her thoughts. One moment she had been sitting alone, deliberating her life choices and the next, she had been on the floor screaming with such unbearable agony the mere thought of it made her toes curl. The witches had moved like thieves in the night, catching her off guard when she'd been at her most vulnerable. What none of them had anticipated, herself included was for her anger and pain to have the ability to fuel such powerful, dark magic. In the space of seconds; she had taken all three of them off guard and had overpowered them. If she was certain of one thing, it was that the magic she had used had been _bad_. Dark and dangerous; it certainly hadn't been from the earth and it terrified her to think what the source of that powerful had been. Her? Another shiver shot through her spine.

Swearing under her breath, she closed her eyes shut firmly and begged for sleep. Time had stretched endlessly and despite her every effort; sleep had become a stranger that refused to visit. Perhaps it was because she didn't deserve the peace and tranquillity it would bring. This is what she deserved; to be trapped in her own mind, endlessly circling over the events which had taken place. Hearing Damon and Caroline enter a screaming match downstairs; she released a shaky breath and closed her eyes, settling back on the pillows. She was too exhausted to intervene.

"Hey," she heard Caroline's gentle voice from the door, jolting her out of her mid-dream state.

Unsure how much time had passed since she'd closed her eyes, she bolted upright and wiped her eyes. Taking in the sight of her best friend who stood at the doorway with such concern and anxiety clear in her expression, the tears she'd fought so expertly before suddenly were no longer too far away from escaping.

"Hi," she managed quietly kneading her hands together in front of her.

"Oh Bonnie," Caroline breathed after a minute and surged forwards, shooting into her bed and throwing her arms around her. Bonnie felt the threatening prickling of tears behind her eyes and found herself unable to embrace her back.

"Are you okay?!" she asked pulling back slightly to look at her directly in the face, before she closed her eyes regrettably. "Stupid question, sorry."

"I'm fine," she nodded falsely.

"Bonnie Bennett," Caroline sighed softly taking her hands into her own. "I am your _best friend_. I can read you like a book and you are _not_ fine. You don't have to do this alone. Your entire life, you've been here for all us—Bonnie you carry us, so please, let me be here for you now. Let _me_ carry you," she finished sincerely, her blue eyes focused on hers.

"I don't know what's happening to me," she admitted.

"You may not feel like it now but you'll be okay. I promise," Caroline said, squeezing her hand tightly.

As a glimpse of sadness entered her eyes, Bonnie was immediately reminded of the time Caroline had made a similar choice. She had killed twelve witches in order to protect her and although Caroline never brought it up again or complained— Bonnie knew the guilt had eaten her up and had tried her best to comfort her. All of them had been touched by death in one way or another she realised gloomily.

"It won't happen in the blink of an eye. It will hurt, but you learn to live with it. You were protecting yourself, and when you realise that – you'll learn to forgive yourself," Caroline added, almost as if reading her thoughts.

A comforting silence stretched out between them as Bonnie settled against Caroline, comforted by her presence.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him you know," she said quietly after a while. "It wasn't his fault."

"I know," came Caroline's reply.

* * *

Waking from a terrible nightmare, Bonnie sat up in the bed with her heart racing in her mediastinum and sweat gleaming from her forehead. Glancing at the bedside clock, she was surprised to learn that it was only a little past midnight. Leaving the bedroom, she padded downstairs, the sound of her bare feet moving against the wooden floor filling the eerie silence. The Salvatore boarding house felt like _home_ ; more so than she felt in her college dorm. She suspected all the time she had spent here in 1994 had contributed to her sense of belonging. Tugging at her curls which had escaped her ponytail, she pondered silently heading into the living room where she was almost startled out of her body. Damon sat on the couch with a glass of bourbon in his hands, looking contemplative. Stopping in her tracks, she chewed on her lips absently whilst she debated whether or not she should join him. Deciding to leave him alone, she began turning to head back to her room when he looked up and locked eyes with her.

"Hey."

"Hi," she replied gawkily as she approached him.

"Nice outfit," he commented lightly with a raised brow.

Bonnie glanced down at his black hoodie and jogging bottoms she wore which were ridiculously oversized on her and felt her cheeks flush. Shortly after arriving at the Salvatore boarding house, Damon had brought her the only clothes of his he knew would fit her. It was the pair she had always stolen from him whilst stuck in 1994, ergo even when Caroline had brought her some clothes from the dorm, she'd chosen to stay in the hoodie. She liked how familiar and safe she felt in it, but of course he'd now shamelessly taunt her for it.

"Don't flatter yourself. It's not like I'm wearing these out of choice," she lied, settling a few spaces beside him with her leg crossed underneath her.

He merely smiled, apparently letting that blatant lie slide. He must be feeling charitable, she mused silently.

"Couldn't sleep?" he quizzed handing her the glass of liquor.

"Yup," she sighed, taking the glass and screwing her face as it burned its way down her oesophagus; earning an amused smile from him. "You?"

"Same."

When silence followed for a brief moment, she rested her left arm on the back of the couch and allowed her head to settle on her arm; her body still angled so that she faced him.

"Want to talk about it?"

She chewed on her bottom lip, the thoughts which had circulated in her mind for hours clawing at her and itching to be heard. The words she'd been too afraid to say now at the tip of her tongue.

"Something happened back there," she breathed, shivering as she unearthed the memory. "I channelled power that didn't feel quite right. Suddenly it was as if I wasn't in control anymore. I _wanted_ to kill them for what they did to me," she admitted feeling both relieved to finally say the words out loud and also terrified by the truth.

"You can't blame yourself for—"

"No! You're not listening to me," she interrupted him, desperate to be heard. "I didn't have to kill them Damon but I did. I _wanted_ to kill them and at some point, it isn't self-defence as much as it is murder."

Damon leaned forwards and gently took the glass out of her trembling grasp and set it on the table beside them. Turning to her with an earnest expression, his blue eyes held hers with such intensity she almost turned away.

"Bon, listen to me. There's nothing you can say to make me see you any differently. You're a good person," he said reaching over to tuck the strand of loose hair behind her ear. She froze and held her breath; the action so delicate and intimate she forced down a shudder. "I'll get you out of this. I promise," he murmured absently, his thumb now tracing a path on her cheek.

Fighting the instinct to close her eyes and lean into the touch, she turned her head slightly in order to move out of his grasp just as he blinked, realising what he was doing and dropped his hand.

"Bonnie?"

Jumping apart guiltily, her eyes snapped around to Caroline who was standing in the doorway wearing her dressing gown. The expression on her features was unreadable giving away nothing;thus she had no idea how much of the conversation she had seen or heard.

"You coming to sleep?"

"Sure," she said jumping off the couch. "Goodnight," she called to Damon before ducking out of the room and heading for the stairs..

Finding her way back into her room, she apprehensively climbed into the bed and wondered whether Caroline would confront her on what she'd seen—if she had seen anything at all. Besides, nothing really happened. _Then why do you feel so guilty_ the incessant voice spoke in her mind.

"I've told Stefan that I'm staying with you tonight," Caroline explained climbing into bed after Bonnie.

Turning to lie on her side, so that she faced Caroline, she felt a rush of instant relief course through her.

"Good," Bonnie admitted scooting closer to her and settling in the nook under her neck as Caroline's arms went around her and encircled her, hugging her tighter.

With a deep pang in her chest, a memory resurfaced from a very long time ago. They were five years old and having a sleepover at the Gilbert household. Right before bedtime, they had watched a scary movie and as a result, Elena had been terrified to go to sleep. Caroline and Bonnie had therefore climbed out of their inflatable mattresses and snuck into bed with her. Ever since then, all three of them would choose to sleep together when one of them had a nightmare or if one of them was having a terrible day.

"I miss her," she admitted into the silent night, the pit in her chest deepening as she yearned for Elena.

"I miss her too," Caroline replied softly into her hair.

In that moment, Bonnie knew she had to put a stop to whatever was happening with Damon immediately. Although she couldn't control what she felt, she certainly could control what she did about it. It was _wrong_. Elena was her best friend and she refused to jeopardise and cheapen their friendship by such betrayal. With that decisive thought, she allowed herself to settle into the safety of Caroline's embrace and slept soundly.

* * *

 **A/N:** That's all folks! I hope it was everything you expected. I don't usually write from so many different POVs in the same chapter so I hope it flowed smoothly. **Please leave a review** and let me know how you felt about the fic in general good or bad and where you think this is headed! I love reading everyone's thoughts and comments. Thanks for also sticking with me despite the fact that I'm a nuisance when it comes to updating sometimes.

I'd also like to thank the Bamon fandom in general, I saw some people sharing and discussing this fic on Twitter & Tumblr and I can't describe the feeling of pride I felt. It's the greatest compliment you could ever give me so thank you for spreading the word! Happy reading & until next time!


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